17 July 2013

How To Properly Get Dirty

Stoney would like to show you how to properly get dirty.  He has been, after all, perfecting this skill for years.
First, take a shower to get squeaky clean.  Don't dry off and instead, take advantage of being dripping wet.
Don't bother to stop eating while showering.  It'll only slow you down.
Second, sniff and dig for a particularly smelly, dusty spot.
Third, drop down and roll.  Wriggle like a caught fish to really get the dirt ground in.
Roll on both sides if you can.
If a horse can roll over, they're worth twice as much!
Finally, stand up and shake off the excess dirt, leaving only completely packed mud.  Shake REALLY hard.  Hard enough that you can't hold your lips shut.
Or your eyelids.  Shake so hard that your ears shake and you almost knock yourself off your feet.
Done!  Never know when a skill like Stoney's will come in handy.


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